Jokes Blog

What “bus” crossed the ocean?Columbus.

What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head ?The deceased !

Cross-Eyed Monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Witch: Well, I won’t stand in your way.

Q: What is a bus ?A: A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Why didn’t anyone take the school bus to school?I wouldn’t fit through the door.

Why couldn’t the skeleton pay his bus fare? Because he was skint.

Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat woman opposite said, “If you were a gentleman, young man, you’d stand up and let someone else sit down.” “And if you were a lady,” replied Roger, “you’d stand up and let four people sit down.”

What’s the difference between a bus driver and a cold? A bus driver knows the stops, and a cold stops the nose.

A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man’s supper and began whining and jumping up at him. “Do you mind if I throw him a bit?” said the man to the lady. “Not at all,” she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.

Teacher: Tommy Russell, you’re late again. Tommy: Sorry, sir. It’s my bus – it’s always coming late. Teacher: Well, if it’s late again tomorrow, catch an earlier one.