Jokes Blog

Q: What does Clinton have in common with his Hollywood pals?A: They all make a living by lying to people.

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find outthat she’s pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator ofNew York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: “How could you have let this happen?With all that’s going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! Howcould you??!!! I can’t believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what haveyou got to say???”There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screamsagain, “Did you hear me??!!” Finally she hears Bill’s very, veryquiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, “Who is this?”

How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet?They were both dating the same girl in high school.

One day there were these three boys walking down the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: ‘HELP! HELP!’When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning. Bill Clinton asks the first boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said, ‘I want a boat.’The second boy said ‘I want a truck.’ And the third boy said, ‘I want three tombstones with arenames all on them.’ Bill Clinton said, ‘why is that son?’ The little boy said, ‘because when my Dad finds out that wesaved you, he is going to kill us all!’

If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood andBill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win?Dan Quayle. He’s the only one who knows that harass is one word.

Q: What is the first thing that President Clinton says after waking up?A: “Good morning, Bill.”

Q: What has Clinton done that no one has been able to do in the last 5 years?A: Unite the Republican Party.

Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia?A: His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict.

Q. What do you get when you cross a crookedpolitician with a dishonest lawyer? A. Chelsea Clinton

Q: When did Clinton’s friends become sure that he had political ambitions?A: When he married outside of his family.